![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
Peter and Remus
Drabble. Just because I don't seem to have anything better to do (which I have, btw =.=), I won't stop spamming my lj. XP
***
Trying to imagine
Yes, I do. Sometimes I try. I try to imagine what could mean, to me as to anyone else, a life like Remus'.
To an external eye, we could even seem somewhat alike, or at least not so different as he and the other two. (Even if we know better.) Anyway, from this point of view, perhaps we could understand each other - at least, as I said, I try. Sometimes I think Remus has already figured us out all too well, and on his own.
Well, living with him every day, we should know him better than anyone. (But I'm not going to make any bet on his mother, though - that woman is terrifying. She seems to know always everything.) And we do, in all honesty. (Leaving alone his mother.) A dormitory with just four persons in it is rather close to a family, after all; probably this is why we feel any insult headed to Remus as a direct offense toward us, who knows. But I'm digressing.
Once gone over the prejudice and the fear that comes with it, with the lycanthropy, one could think he's kind of a hero. But I don't think so. He's no little human-David fighting against the big, wolfish Golia. Technically he may not be human, but I think he is, in all his fears, his doubts, in his way to cope or avoid problems. He's not that different from us.
But I'm not stupid, I know I never went through what he did, and I obviously hope I never will. None of us experienced the pain of a transformation, even if we saw one in our Animagus form, none of us knows the way a real animal's mind works, even if we stroll with one every full moon and we ourselves are so close to them, none of us lives with the constant reminder that someone else, something else, is sharing our own body, and we don't have the slightest control over it. Remus knows that, too. This could be why Remus always seems to keep his distance from us. He's doing it in his own, subtle way, the one that makes you doubt whether it's just your imagination, but he's doing it nonetheless. I don't think he doesn't trust us - he does, I believe he does - I don't think either he's feeling superior to us - I know for sure he'd switch place any time with any of us, without as much as second thoughts - but I do think he believes we can't understand him.
Which I'm trying to do.
I really do.
***
Ok, my english is quite rough, still.. =__= I have to work on that. (And on the "I think"s that are overrunning all the piece..)
Probably it's clear enough, I don't know, but it's from Peter's pov. It wasn't intended to be this way - it started as Sirius talking about Remus post-Gof, then during MWPP days, then I scrapped Sirius altogether - I don't see neither him or James as thoughtful types (I'm not saying they don't want to understand Remus. They just do it, without thinking over it.) So I thought of Peter. He's not one of my fav characters, he's never been, yet I don't agree with the characterization he often get in MWPP fics. He's either a poor, pathetic little thing loathed and alienated by his own friends, or already a evil double crosser. The second one is just impossible, and for a simple reason: Sirius switched with him, yes, because no one would have thought of Peter.. but if this was the only reason, he could have picked up another member of the Order. Don't we forget that James was like a brother, to Sirius; and you entrust with your brother's life only persons you actually trust, and trust a lot.
And, by the way, I don't think Peter able to pretend for such a long time as seven or more years. So, what is he? Perhaps just a little man, scared shitless, probably all too aware of his own scarce possibilities and lack of strenght. And in that he's just like a lot of other people, truth to be told. As far as I know, even I could act like him. I can't be sure I won't. Hell, I don't think I would, and surely I don't absolutely want to, but I've never been in a real, extended danger of life, I've never seen (thanks God) people I know and love fall one by one. I don't want to be like him, but I could be. Fear is a vicious thing.
And I run off on veritable tangents, sometimes. ^^"
***
Trying to imagine
Yes, I do. Sometimes I try. I try to imagine what could mean, to me as to anyone else, a life like Remus'.
To an external eye, we could even seem somewhat alike, or at least not so different as he and the other two. (Even if we know better.) Anyway, from this point of view, perhaps we could understand each other - at least, as I said, I try. Sometimes I think Remus has already figured us out all too well, and on his own.
Well, living with him every day, we should know him better than anyone. (But I'm not going to make any bet on his mother, though - that woman is terrifying. She seems to know always everything.) And we do, in all honesty. (Leaving alone his mother.) A dormitory with just four persons in it is rather close to a family, after all; probably this is why we feel any insult headed to Remus as a direct offense toward us, who knows. But I'm digressing.
Once gone over the prejudice and the fear that comes with it, with the lycanthropy, one could think he's kind of a hero. But I don't think so. He's no little human-David fighting against the big, wolfish Golia. Technically he may not be human, but I think he is, in all his fears, his doubts, in his way to cope or avoid problems. He's not that different from us.
But I'm not stupid, I know I never went through what he did, and I obviously hope I never will. None of us experienced the pain of a transformation, even if we saw one in our Animagus form, none of us knows the way a real animal's mind works, even if we stroll with one every full moon and we ourselves are so close to them, none of us lives with the constant reminder that someone else, something else, is sharing our own body, and we don't have the slightest control over it. Remus knows that, too. This could be why Remus always seems to keep his distance from us. He's doing it in his own, subtle way, the one that makes you doubt whether it's just your imagination, but he's doing it nonetheless. I don't think he doesn't trust us - he does, I believe he does - I don't think either he's feeling superior to us - I know for sure he'd switch place any time with any of us, without as much as second thoughts - but I do think he believes we can't understand him.
Which I'm trying to do.
I really do.
***
Ok, my english is quite rough, still.. =__= I have to work on that. (And on the "I think"s that are overrunning all the piece..)
Probably it's clear enough, I don't know, but it's from Peter's pov. It wasn't intended to be this way - it started as Sirius talking about Remus post-Gof, then during MWPP days, then I scrapped Sirius altogether - I don't see neither him or James as thoughtful types (I'm not saying they don't want to understand Remus. They just do it, without thinking over it.) So I thought of Peter. He's not one of my fav characters, he's never been, yet I don't agree with the characterization he often get in MWPP fics. He's either a poor, pathetic little thing loathed and alienated by his own friends, or already a evil double crosser. The second one is just impossible, and for a simple reason: Sirius switched with him, yes, because no one would have thought of Peter.. but if this was the only reason, he could have picked up another member of the Order. Don't we forget that James was like a brother, to Sirius; and you entrust with your brother's life only persons you actually trust, and trust a lot.
And, by the way, I don't think Peter able to pretend for such a long time as seven or more years. So, what is he? Perhaps just a little man, scared shitless, probably all too aware of his own scarce possibilities and lack of strenght. And in that he's just like a lot of other people, truth to be told. As far as I know, even I could act like him. I can't be sure I won't. Hell, I don't think I would, and surely I don't absolutely want to, but I've never been in a real, extended danger of life, I've never seen (thanks God) people I know and love fall one by one. I don't want to be like him, but I could be. Fear is a vicious thing.
And I run off on veritable tangents, sometimes. ^^"
no subject
anyway... about the drabble. I really like this. I am, right now, very interested in Peter as a character and I think this plays with him most effectively. And I love the concept of Remus you have developed here. really, just a very thought provoking piece of work.
Kudos.
Love and Chocolate Tarts,
Jo
no subject
In fact, I was just wondering what forty foot was, and when I posted something in it.. ^^"
Anyway, if you're trying to make me blush, you managed it. ^^"
(And I should thank you also because I noted two typos(mine). I should really re-read what I write. More often than not I'm just too lazy. ^^")