(no subject)

[kasche]

Aaaah, I'd forgot! :D Last week Dad came home with this sheet of paper that he showed me, and I risked death. I was literally wheezing in between bursts of laughing.

If you know a little of C++ it'll probably make you laugh harder. :D

 

/* Source Code to Windows 2000 */
#include "win31.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "win98.h"
#include "workst~1.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
#include "monopoly.h"
#define INSTALL HARD

char make_prog_look_big1600000;

void main()
{
while(!CRASHED)
{
display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();

if (first_time_installation)
{
make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
make_futile_attempt_to_damage_Linux();
disable_Netscape();
disable_RealPlayer();
disable_Lotus_Products();
hang_system();
}

write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();

if (still_not_crashed)
{
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_3.1();
do_nothing_loop();
do_nothing_loop();
}
}

if (detect_cache())
disable_cache();

if (fast_cpu())
{
set_wait_states(lots);
set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
}

/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.1"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 3.0"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 98"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 4.0"); */
printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");

if (system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt)
else
system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);

while(something)
{
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
}
create_general_protection_fault();
}

 

 

 

 

Me DIED.

---

Oh, BUT:

Happy Birthday, Thistlerose!

Comments

[monophobia.livejournal.com]

That's cute! XD

(And btw I LOVE YOU!)

[kasche.livejournal.com]

Isn't it? XD

(LOVE YOU TOO! *clinges*)

[aillil.livejournal.com]

I don't know the first thing about C++, but this made me laugh nevertheless. *ggg* Good one! :)

[kasche.livejournal.com]

Oh god, when I say I was on the verge of death I'm not entirely joking. :D I couldn't breathe!

Oh, Ai - there are so many comments of yours I haven't replied to yet, I'm sorry. :( Uni is a bitch. >_<  

[aillil.livejournal.com]

Uni is a bitch.

Tell me about it... Same here. :|

[aillil.livejournal.com]

I sent a link to this to the bloke I share an office with at uni. He studied computer science once upon a time, and I was there while he read through it. He was wheezing pretty badly for about 10 minutes. *ggg* And he explained some of the very-C++-ish stuff to me. Thanks for the joke. :)

[thistlerose.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweetie!!! :)

[kasche.livejournal.com]

Oh, Thistle! :D I know it was a day too soon, but I knew I wouldn't have been online yesterday, so. ;) Better sooner than later. :P

I hope it was a good one! :D

[spacedye-vest.livejournal.com]

Don't know anything about programming, but that's FUNNY!

:)

I LOVE YOU

[kasche.livejournal.com]

Oh, isn't it? :D

LOVE YOU!

[lea-ndra.livejournal.com]

bwahahahahaha.

and hey, C++, how I hated thee in school.

[kasche.livejournal.com]

Tee hee hee. :D

(oh dear god YES. Im studying it now, at uni. Woot. Cheer.)

[lea-ndra.livejournal.com]

btw, happy birthday, dear! hope you have a good day!

[kasche.livejournal.com]

Awww thank you so much! :D So far it's been very good. :D