I'm alive! Just not online very often.

[kasche]

Ha... There's nothing quite like a long, hot shower - and possibly just a tiny spot of midro the night before - what? it helps. - to make it all better, if you've woken up feeling not quite all right. (Well, as I was falling asleep yesterday night I'd also planned to get up early and try jogging as well, but I promptly talked myself out of it as soon as I woke up. This time the excuse was "now, let's not start too many things all at once." I'm not exactly sure what 'other things' my brain was referring to, but I didn't question it too closely.) Other things that I should list under the cheerer-upper category should probably be getting to wear a t-shirt without a long-sleeved one underneath for the first time, this season (okay, so maybe I'm not that hard to cheer up), and changing bedclothes/vacuuming around/opening the window to change the air. (I basically said that cleaning one's room/house makes persons feel better. I'm aware of that fact. I'm also aware that I'm a pretty weird cookie, and that I don't really care enough to do anything about it. ;) And anyway, try telling me that breathing fresh air does nothing to improve your mood. :P)

There are also some little rl facts I could tell you about - I actually might - but it all comes down to the fact that, when you think about it, just a little more levity would make life that much better. People take themselves way too seriously. Most times it's really not the end of the world.

Now - there is this meme I've seen randomly popping up on my friends list every now and then. I avoided doing it for the longest time, because you're always alternatively thinking that one of the points might be about you, or that you might not be there at all and you feel like a fool, etc etc etc, so I'd decided against it for the longest time.

Then? I realized that, after all, I'm too much of a bitch not to do it - exactly for the reasons listed above. :D (Reason. That's just one. But you know what I mean.) If anything, I've refrained from telling actually bad stuff... but that's mostly because it's a lot more fun telling the interesting parties directly, if there are bad things to be said.

The Paranoia Meme!


1. I really like you. We don't know each other all that much, in fact we've barely talked at all, but there's something about you that makes me think "I really want to be this person's friend." You could call it a gut feeling, I guess.
   



2. I never expected you to become so important to me, you know? Okay, It's not like you can actually plan this kind of things, and I didn't really write down plans or timetables (for the record - no, I never do. With anyone. Just in case someone was wondering.), but... oh, sod it, this is never going to come out right. You are, though.
   
   Also - if you ever go away, I will personally hunt you down, kidnap you, and keep you at arm's length ALL THE TIME.
   
   No, I'm not exactly trying not to let you guess that yes, I'm really talking about YOU.
   



3. I used to be sure you couldn't stand me much. Like, dead sure. I was so in awe of you - still am - that honestly, I could hardly fault you for that or not understand why you thought that. Well, as it turned out I was either totally wrong, or somewhere along the way you drastically changed idea.
   
   I don't think I really want to know which one it is. ;P
   



4. I used to be sure you were a man. Again - like dead sure. To my credit, it was still my early days in fandom, and I wasn't yet over the very naive phase called "what the hell, it's gay MEN slash, there's got to be at least one guy writing it around here!" stage. That, and your writing style was so blatantly different from all the crap stuff I'd got used to at the time that I couldn't help thinking that you really knew what you were talking about.
   
   And, yes, that in my mind translated to "______ is a guy". (Which I suppose made ______ kind of a fag hag, in my mind.)
   
   I suppose you could take it as a compliment...?
   



5. You told me once, and I quote, "I'll always be smiling and cheerful if you're around". Well, I still can't get over it. It's one of the most beautiful things anyone's ever said to me - and you have no idea how awfully touched I was when I read it. I do have quite a hard time believing it might be true, but anyway? Thank you. So much.
   



6. I used to think that talking in English, especially on the phone, was for the most part just an awkward matter. A very awkward matter. You know, what with me being so inexperienced at it, not to mention unable to help myself with body language, or the noble art of Pointing At Things.
   
   But talking with you? Man, it's awesome. Hanging up is the last thing I want to do. I don't know what is that you do, or say, but whatever it is, it makes me want to throw my arms around you and just hold on. Or, alternatively, squeeze until you get a little blue in the face. I just feel so - not relaxed, a toddler on a sugar high would be more like it, but definitely at ease - like we'd been talking for months on a daily basis, and I still can't get enough.
   



7. And you are someone else I really was surprised to find that I like. We chat here and there, now and then, and... I really just like you.
   
   Er. Yes. That's it. :P
   



8. I adore you! And I wish I was able to express it in ways other than super-sekrit-projects I've been working on for months on end and that (a) I'm still nowhere close to finishing and (b) you are most definitely Not Privy to, and yes, that means that I am so not planning on giving you hints that might let you guess I'm talking about you.
   
   But I still had to say it. :P
   

When I was planning it, I'm rather sure there were other people I wanted to talk about... oh, well. Anyway, believe me, it was HARD not thrusting a OMG I HATE YOU SO MUCH!!1! in there, just for the hell of it. And to see if anyone would go "Is number # about me...? " I am most definitely Not About giving you hints other than what I've said above, which in some cases are more than enough. Then again... I suppose I do have a tendency to come clean about practically everything, if given enough time. If I were you, I wouldn't be surprised if five years from now I'll start saying stuff like "Do you remember that old old anonymous meme? Number #? That was you."

Taking as a given that I haven't told you already and I've forgotten about it. Well, it happened. (Several times.)

Changing subject again - in the end, I didn't submit anything to Kissybook. I didn't notice that the first version was way too little until it was too late... and I didn't manage to get anywhere close finishing the second, bigger one by the date it should have been due. I did collect an awful number of tutorials, though - look! A whole page of them! - and they definitely will come in handy, so yay. ;)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand...


wellymuck is starting again!

!!!

Comments

[peverell.livejournal.com]

I've been admiring your HP art for a while and so I hope it's okay to friend you. :-)

Xia

[kasche.livejournal.com]

Oh, more than! :D Thank you!